My driver and his assistant took me on a drive this weekend

It was pretty fun. I got to see water and waves and things.

Chillaxin in my ride on the drive up there.

On the rocks overlooking Duluth Minnesota, just look at all that glorious water.

They took me to this place there with a river, it was fun.

And I got to take a little dip in Lake Superior, the waves were enormous

How To Tell If You Are Ready For A Newfoundland


1) Lift a hundred pound bag of wet sand up and down the stairs

2) Push a hundred pound bag of wet sand into your car

3) Borrow a pony and purchase a Dremel and practice dremeling the pony's hooves while on your hands and knees..be sure to remember to give him carrots

4) Smear hair gel all over your walls and throw it on the ceiling and TV, while you are at it...smear the lower half of all windows, curtains, and glass doors

5) Wear old football cleats and run and slide on your wood floors

6) Smear your toilet seat in more gel and bits of mulch and grass

7) Throw away all light colored dress clothes, purses, and shoes

8) Rub fur and gel into the roof of your vehicle

9) Drip lotion out of the windows and down the sides of your car

10) At least twice daily drop that bag of wet sand on your bare foot

11) Shake balls of fur, mulch, and a bucket of dirt all over your house daily (add water for rainy days) for variety add bits of toilet paper, shaving cream, and feathers

12) Throw chains and some of that gel on your stainless steel appliances

13) Stand on your dishwasher door while it is opened

14) Practice repeating " NEWFOUNDLAND....no, it's not a Black Great Pyrennes..150 pounds....4-8 cups a day....no, I don't have a saddle" over and over with a smile

15) Volunteer at the zoo to help wash the large animals and clean up their poop

16) Invite your friends over and have them all try to get in the bathroom while you are using it

17) Throw muddy wet rocks on the floor and walk on it in bare feet in the dark, you may not scream or you will wake someone

18) Have someone operate a chain saw outside your bedroom door all night...record this and play it every night right next to your ear

19) Take a nice long piece of rubber hose and go around smacking all the coffee mugs off the end-tables and hit any close male in the privates and just smack your own legs a few times, too.

20) Take shampoo, egg whites, and a gal of water and make big pools on your tile floors.....run through this windmilling your arms and yelling whoopeee!

21) Pull back your sheets and fill your bed with a bag of yard clippings and sand, add a branch and a bone..... carefully re-make your bed...smear your pillow with hair gel

22) Practice sleeping on the outside 6" of your bed with no pillow and that wet bag of sand next to you...your blankets are to be under the bag of sand

23) Practice telling people that your husband does NOT beat you, that those bruises are from your dogs

24) Stuff your washer with your best bedding and another one of those bags of yard clippings and hair.....add a couple of branches and bones and run

25) Remove your normal dryer vent and just run a temporary hose out your laundry window for venting hair

26) Without smiling, offer to drive your friends for a dressy night out

27) Bend all your eye-glasses and smear with more of that gel

28) Invest in a vacuum company

29) Invest in a dog food company

30) Purchase a vacation home for your veterinarian

31) Walk around your grocery store talking loudly on your cell phone saying BITCH and SPERM COUNT and BITCH PANTIES and IMPORTED SEMEN over and over

32) Take Rosanne Barr to your next school event and hold hands with her while she sings the national anthem....smile proudly!

33) Lay a sand bag in front of your sink, in front of the refrigerator and in front of the dishwasher.. ..now cook for 10 guests

34) Stand at your back door from dawn til dark opening and closing it

05-16-2010 I had a good weekend.

Got to go up north and do a little swimming. Got a HUGE bone. Sat outside and barked at random things. All n all pretty good. I am going to need to nap for like ever to rest up for next week.


I got to swim.





Some other random pictures from the people who drive me places, they went Kayaking, I cant do that because I am too big.

A turtle, there were lots of these out sunning.


The people in their little boats.




When this guy see's his boat he is probably going to not be happy.





Chillaxing on the deck, I was also barking at small children, what fun.

I made a new friend today

It was a fantastic day at the park today. I made a new friend, his name is Kinnick. We had a good time, and got real dirty. He was kind of close to as big as me and people said he was almost as cute as me, thats probably because he was only a year old and still had some of his puppy fro left.

This is him. He's a Bernese Mountain Dog, weighing in at 90lbs so far.





This is me introducing him to who's park this is.







And some random pics of me today.







This is not what it looks like.

Someone froze my lake again

This is not very fair. I went to go swimming this morning and someone has frozen my lake again. I woke up this morning super excited to get outside and do some spring time swimming. The guy that drives me places took me outside to pee, I came back inside and told the lady who sits on the other side of the truck to get up out of bed. She didnt seem to understand me at all, so shes yapping at me in that squeeky bird language they talk in. The conversation basicly went something like this.

Me: Get up, time to go.
Her: blah blah blah bed, blah blah blah park.
Me: YES YES PARK PARK
Her: Blah blah blah blah truck, blah blah park.
Me YES YES TRUCK. PARK. LETS GO.

Shes doesnt understand proper languages aside from a few words.

Anyways we finally got her up and out.

I got there all super excited but I have to wait for them or they get lost, and they move like snails.



WATER!! I see it there. Lets get a move on.


Its right down here.


WTF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Absolute crap, someone froze my lake.


So we left, because this sucks. I did make them go buy me a buffalo esophagus instead so the whole morning wasnt shot.

I was banished to a doggie hotel

I do not approve. They left me there, by myself, for 2 whole days. On the whole it wasnt toooooo terrible, aside from being left there. I did get a deluxe suite, which was nice, at least I got to watch TV. The peanut butter filled Kongs were quite good. And there was doggie daycare which was pretty cool cause there were other dogs to play with. Plus the ladies loved me. I got a report card and got perfect marks for everything and Christie says she loves me.

Its nice to be home though and napping on my own floor, I need to rest up for later so I can eat someones shoe as punishment.

I am having troubles with the bitches

So I think my bitch might be cheating on me. I got to the dog park the last 2 afternoons and she was messing with Kodiak a chocolate lab (he aint even black) who I thought was my friend. As soon as I showed up she pretended like they werent doing anything but I could see them messing around before they saw me. I had to roll Kodiak on the ground a few times to show him who is boss around here. I'm not sure what I should do. I dont want to just dump her because its hard finding a good white bitch with a good fluffy white ass, but I dont like that she was messing with that mulatto mutt. I think she might be a cheating whore.

This is what she looks like.


I also went to the park today and my buddies Parker, Bailey, and Alex were all there. We played pretty hardcore.









This is strictly a man hug.